I just want to give up, not because I'm not happy or because life is not going in the right direction, but maybe because it's becoming hard to pretend that I care, it's hard to pretend that I have forgotten that feeling that I once had(still have) for you, for life, for everyone, maybe it was not meant to be this way, maybe I took a wrong turn, maybe the path I choose was not meant for me maybe it was not all right to just let go of everything, maybe I was not meant for the things I do....
I still remember those days when I used to happy not facking it but in fact, really happy, emotionally stable may be a little mad at heart, but still happy that I was alive(Yes you read it right), now I feel like I'm not alive, it's like something inside me has died something has extinguished the flame that used to keep me alive, used to keep me happy...
But sometimes I feel like maybe everything that has happened so far, maybe the flame was there just to show me the way until now and maybe now there is no need for it, as it has served its purpose of lifting me up to this point from where I can finally take that leap of faith into the great unknown...
That is why I won't slit my wrist today(Not Today), nor will I jump from that bridge or overdose on that secret stash of sleeping pills(Rat poison tastes bad), not just yet and will continue to believe in someone or something that keeps me alive, that keeps me going on each day, and keep on moving forward with a few pushback's, but yeah maybe it is not that hard...
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